ck Shen Ke Log ( 124-129 )

7 / 30 (2007/07/30)

I have a quite long time did not dream of you.
only, every dream you once, awake, it can not inhibit want to hurt themselves.


I drink a lot of wine.
lot of people.
friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends.
me a splitting headache. Was sitting in the crowd chuckle.
before going home and only remember that strange man in the corridor near the shadow of kiss.


then that night, I imagined of you.

three in the morning when you awake.
face.
did not use component Ru solution.
rough towel to scrape the peel, itching.
glue into the makeup has been amplified dark surrounds.

depending on foot of the bed I sat on the floor.
arm wound infection has been hasty for a week. Hidden in the sleeves a puny impact pain.
I think of you.
clenched dagger. One, two ... ...
blood from the leg slowly flooded out.
that dark ruddy is still glaring.
in my dizziness began to cry.

You see, I have no way to wear summer dresses.
You penetrate, I am obtaining scale up hideous filthy.
I'm afraid I hate everyone.
I hate them afraid of them.

I obviously do not cold.
those who are in the manner of a more cold look at me.
why there locked in cages in the crowd was creature made amusement of disgust.
always the case.
always the case.
why do not you take me.
take me out of here.
I like you.

besides you no one ambition want me.
you are right, without you, how do I do.
I can only obediently in location waiting for you.
can not go anywhere.

I listen to you, good job, good life.
you said to always smile, to pay many, many friends like you.
I desperately to accustom to entire the human and entities approximately, I try to pay many, many friends, they smile, almost to please.
you said I too thin, every time I hold to sleep, pelvic afflict will pierce you.
I quit all the things you do not like.
I eat of sorts drugs.
I am a good fat ah.
you would like it to me.

Yesterday I took some photos sent to your e-mail.
those wounds, those blood.
I tell you I want you.
I acquaint you it began to hurt,Lacoste Camden Shoes, but I accidentally let it began to hurt.
I assume you would like to help me clothe and in the past, due to anguished and petulant and broke things, but said nought but hold me tight. Your warm tears dripping on my nape.
I imagine you would tell me over and over and over as you will not leave, how can you leave.


can you still go.
you said I was sick, you have no path.
you, I do not love you.

I kid you not.
never never lie to you.
So I seriously think so many so much.
I want you to stay in another words, if only adore.
But why I can only have been crying.
not stop.

I have to always be scrupulous to guard against these endless feelings.
heightened tensions.
fear to listen to them crackling. Like in the division.


You see I was talking nonsense. I was drunk yesterday
why not get up up now.

Let me think about you.
Let me shed tears.
before waking up.
8 / 14 (2007/08/14)


I grew up it, mother.


suddenly so then like you.

today, a place to go alone, alone, should not be a mission to complete a task.
quietly a little perversion.


waiting.
yesterday, still uncomfortable.
today is so numb.
even if we still must second, third.

pain.
did not want to cry a little.
There is nothing to fear.
There's nothing I fear.
is not it? Mother.



something wrong, who can not run punishment.

long, long time antecedent, you had to masquerade pique of childhood fun of me saying that. 8 / 22, end (2007/08/22)

lying in bed, sleep every now and then.
eyes, awake looking at the dome,Mens Lacoste, then fell asleep dizzy and fatigued.
and then wake up again, and then fell comatose.
twenty-four hours long like twenty-four centenary.


phone ring.
big K.
coincidence it this time.
discovered me looking for someone to talk.
even scolded 也好.
bench down in silence these days Tolerance, suddenly a little break.

not scolded.
would preferably be scolded.
with large K becomes suddenly gentle up.
so carefully.

he said, hurt it.
I fear going to start to ascertain their own voice strangled.


cowardly evil do.
alone fell, got up, calmly continued to walk.
but if something falls next time, help you up gently and take pity for you to dust. Instead, it will be wronged to cry.


it is not left alone it would be better.
is not immediately hang up the big K in the phone, help me up the people pushing it.

next time.
later, will be resolutely open.
this, and then condone this malign time.
I really need.
last. I swear by all
.



I felt sweat mantled in skinny blankets inside.
clenched the phone.
yet could not tell palms stick to the hot temperature of the cheek alternatively on the metal casing on the phone.
only kas long asmoment,Lacoste Zepher MR2 Shoes, chaos, the other end of the big K's voice, seems to me the whole world.


at least, still did not lose ah.
no longer needless and useless put askew look.
constantly changing topic. and great K
just chatting softly. That joke.
just want a tiny morsel faster over time.

so, it is not too much opposition the rules right.



third day.
have fever. Pain suspension.
nausea, do not eat into things.
large K the phone has repeatedly said that the nourishment of.

to buy the water and injecting glucose leak to work home.
left hand or shaking badly.
needle bar twice before nail blood containers.



Internet.
watching two hours ahead the last paragraph of the conversation daze.

(2007-08-14 09:39:32) ck
also met me
(2007-08-14 09:39:49) ck
you want to see me

(2007-08-14 09:42:41)
do not know, do not query me, I now I do not want to answer what


thigh was hot the next.
bow.
inexplicable tears.
heart is hurt.

one o'clock there is no perception.




Valentine's Day.

8:00
is still a lot of friends.
eat, then go to bars.
He kept the wine to help me stop.
with them today, he did not slapstick, just sitting next to me, has been silently watching me.
he tolerate unreasonable things complicated for me, go far away to buy green tea. Just because I said that the store's green tea ice temperature was just right. But did not buy a drink.

dark deck room. He gingerly took my hand. cordless shock-like contraction
I open.
carnival crowd staring at the boxes.
avoid his harmed eye.



12:00

I slowly move along.
through the mobbed avenues of a strange piece of a team and a team of loud and joyful couples.
breast hair slightly stifled.
sense of trance, going to float like.

end of the line is the voice of his anger and hurt.

I dislike you so you Shen Ke.
I like it so not value the money then you can not stand it.

from after to catch up with motorcycle parked in front.
I gazed watching has been hung up the phone, look by people on the motorcycle.
seems familiar.
a moment to remember.
really is his friend.

man speak, with a arrange of self-righteous frustration.
they argue? See how you always fight. Up, I take you home.

hesitated a few seconds.
handing bags, got on.

wearing headphones the way he talk with who.
roughly suspect who.
see the car suddenly rotated back.
I sat back in silence.

nothing.
suddenly without whichever effort to make things difficult.

off.
he really stood waiting.
deadpan.
stiff from the hands of a friend took my bag.
I silently followed.
watched him go get car.


road.
he gently open suddenly, I'm sorry.

I turned to look out the skylight.
silence.



am 1:20

received little fairy on the phone.

my little fairy.
gentle voice still raucous.
sweet in the navel of the night call me child.


began to cry.
along the sobs into crying.
to cry approximately to breathe.

end of the line appears to be growing dread misgiving sound far out of reach.
throat tight.
surprisingly firm.
stomach began cramping, and severe cramps in waves.

tears blur, the whole is explicit and that kind of numb despair.
feel, little by little all the perception will be attach with my little fairy, but also with the lost.



think frankly the 1st time the word alone.
people bloody, apathetic.

alone something like this interpretation of the ah.


all apparently still there.
fairy obviously still there.

merely Since that daytime, I was never close,Lacoste Protect Laser Shoes, as follows way,Lacoste Canada, seeking the cover label of grief warm
8 / 31 (2007/08/31)

Luo God they come home the morning playing cards.
I will not.
still be precluded.

Liu aunt out. At midday we started
hungry.
so I pushed to cook.

not long into the kitchen.

hard to make things right for Wu Wan noodle chicken blood.
Duanliao Yi bowl to eat alone in the bedroom.
out after half an hour and base the alive room that Siwan bowl is not moving.

stare.

Luo Ye lull prologue the way, what it is.
frozen chicken blood noodle.
eat it.
can.
frozen chicken blood, but it called noodle.
today it is not one ordinary noodle frozen chicken blood.
what it is.
vegetables and onions have likewise put egg noodle chicken blood.
Well ... it before it is.
noodle chicken blood before it is frozen. No onions and vegetables and egg.
this ... ah ... a small sink, will do everything else to eat?
knowing. Well, you and so on.
good agreeable ... ... trouble you.


So I put the heating intact Siwan noodle patience.
and then bring ... to an end the elapse.





Later, we take the time, appear to feel very good.
Wang Yuan Zhen (2007/09/14)

not last a long time on the old MSN account.
32 messages.
of which 27 are for you.


like you said before.
I am probably missing a really performing.
tend to forget so many momentous things.



warp it.
just have no kind of yesterday received a candy-like touch of joy.

ancestral ... ...
we did not take long talked about.
that, I still habitually retaliation and injury.
you still habitually reiterated tolerate concession.

your friends will presently begin to hate me.
even, maybe including my friend.
our friends.

Long Zeyu ah, Li Yu ah, the old E.
they always ask me, you do ample. As good for the poor mother do.


enough.
enough is long overdue.

but I knew the habits.
forget back from. Forget to stop.
forget and you know.


I know, always know your feelings.
deep, as did the burning slap in the face imprinted on my face.
never deliberately ignored that second day of panic in your eyes the pain and apologize. I remember when I prefer
angry about mad.

so gentle you.
I entirely trust you.
give me so numerous lukewarm you.

fragmented.
day break as the set of crystal glasses.



hurt themselves whether it manner hurt you.
that I will hurt his side while laughing.

stupid?

not.
only you and I know.
I succeeded.


villain.

how can you coerce me to quit those.
those, so I can see her spiritual nutrition it.

you should know best, those who make you panic and hate, but all I must support persisted breathing down the power ah.

You see, I advert these, always with a dislike like intonation.
This is also your habits.


I do not absence to pardon.
just because you hurt me earlier.
matter what your starting point.

I just want to say, these are stopped.
by my end.


I obviously have not go back.
I clearly have in this process in itself is lost.
this be the punishment I get ah.
we are even, okay?


from today, me from your earth, plucked out of it.

ago you promised, without my permission, you can not leave me, I can not concern.
remember, right?
you have laughed like a fool merely a gentle face, made a variety of oath.



So now, I permit you to depart.
allows you to pleasure.
9 / 21 (2007/09/21)

record one.

really busy bruised and battered. Even the new look did not have time to shoot.
This is the way to elect up the pro sat ridiculously small float a shot inside the word hi hi back.
yell to be a few more pictures to the wedding photos of friends a poor explanation.

Alternatively, you really do not want to take the greet was extremely humdrum process.

only poor to participate in a marriage.
to bridesmaid status.
groom is a courtyard with six formerly brought up childhood,Lacoste Carnaby Shoes, Huo purple sibling.
bride first met.
looks normal.
but her smile and sweet. People are respectful.

lot of old people rule.
Western-style weddings must preparing for the wedding, from the beginning to the end seriously.
neither fish nor chicken.

godmother gave me goose elected pieces of yellow bridesmaid dress that really can not wear.
pretend to forget to bring, wearing a short uniforms. At least not stumbling stumbling hand.
old people no less to himself, Whatever. No one serious.
joke.
you transform decency, hand, wedding foul air.
bride and groom face stiff stiff consist in ..., a slovenly afraid of your bad formality rules.
than Leia. More boring ah.
Nanbu Cheng wedding night you must stand next to the manipulation of what rank they should.

just write ideas.
day has been largely silent.
not satisfactory appearance in counting to clothes, the other should still be thought basically decent manners.
starting from five o'clock to Xiangxiang the bride, the groom back to the cities, to take the umbrella, to attach the bride upstairs, Libi and best man afterward the fashionable mattress to help with a candle.
not Mr. Liu, to make it through.


record two.


wedding experience Yaya.
primary school students.
said that they had accurate the same level for 3 annuals.
kindergarten, first grade, second grade.
until the third year I transferred out.

also be brought up together.
time was bullied badly.
Yaya before a child is sturdy.
always a few girls around me with a classmate. Tore my job of this, pull my hair and the like.
I do not know to complain, just begin calling, then Lianku also saved. Suffer in quiet.
so kids become more excited, having fun, bullying was aggravate. In the middle of the group of children
Yaya is a criterion small devil head.

also seen for many years.
almost unrecognizable.
handsome facial traits, face petite petite, more wet girl.
manners matron to not work.
prettily Gouzhuo my arm and I speak a kid how apt kick my big memories.

comb a hedgehog head I wear men's jacket to her next stop, Wai Zhaozui giggle.
how to be more tomboy tomboy.


record three.

home.
lack of sleep, coupled with approximately two days, several times not far by car.
stars.

wore a look of makeup is a shower.
COMB call me so I'll get MAYA sound goes, the way to eat a meal.
rush to catch the last orange of the concept of time to eventually meet COMB.
thought it was an old man.
did not think wears black-rimmed glasses are almost like a type of juvenile artists.
also carry a laptop with a baby. Standard professional pose.

meal because two and a half hours to eat banquet, talk music, talk work, and talk his girlfriend.
took several COMB sound card and arranger for the recording software.
I actually speak their own the home.
more rude.
just really weary.
otherwise want to be around and then go play video games.

home forgot to say important words.
Thank you.
make up here.

people so busy, deliberately taking the time to bring his card over, also invited him to dinner.
a bit sorry.


record four.

physiology of lavender in the Hall to his brother's wedding day.
Duoji Li ah.
large - red.
gang olds who kas long asthe more cheerful ah.
began Tengteng Tengteng Tengteng stomach pain.

start recording and the bare song.
already logged his part well.
my side has tugged on for a good time.
really sorry anew and again.

tongue petrochemicals.
stomach cramps.
they want to record the more inaccessible state. Although the theme of lustful ######
lyrics, but however the outcome, I hope sincerely and carefully recorded.

time.
I need time.
then a little bit of time.

forgive me, bare wife.


record five.

woke up this morning, that would be the culmination of a abdomen rankle physiological state.
really can not migrate.
can not go to the enterprise.
salary clasped buttoned buckle stop.
This month's narcotic commission and dividends early flight.

save my appalling plan.

really hate their stubborn donkey did it like spine.
but do not regret it.
sometimes feel very keen and hard struggle.

this month to remunerate.
otherwise I will sell self-fantasy classic Red. (He said called the brothel.)
Recent favorite classical play into the infinite crying in front of Cinderella.