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Old 10-10-2011, 09:35 PM   #21
avacualSani
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luxembourg
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Default ludicrous jokes

Respondents also highlighted issues relating to the capacity of services to support children and the need for multi-skilled practitioners to provide a flexible and responsive service for families and children. For many respondents this capacity was linked to services offering full-time employment to staff in regional areas. This also included ongoing training to develop skills specifically relating to services for children, such as child specific counselling, child consultations and child inclusive practice.
In the 2007-08 Budget $36.9 million was allocated over four years to two new programs to assist parents. The first initiative is an educational program that will assist separated parents in 28 regional areas whose inability to communicate without conflict is affecting their contact with their children. bancuri tari
The second initiative is the new Supporting Children after Separation Program. This program will assist children from separating families in a number of areas of high need across Australia to deal with issues arising from the breakdown in their parent’s relationship and to be able to participate in decisions that impact on them. The objective of this new service type is to support children within the context of their family to manage and enhance their relationships during and after family separation.jocuri logice ¦From an Air France bulletin dated Dec 1,1989. Signs & notices
written in English that were discovered around the world.jokes¦
In Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we
regret that you will be unbearable. blonde jokes ¦
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.kids jokes ¦
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national
order.funny jokes ¦
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.medical jokes ¦
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. blonde jokes ¦
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.funny jokes ¦
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.kids jokes ¦
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
people of different ######, for instance men and women, live together
in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
purpose.medical jokes ¦
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
###### in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this
purpose.funny jokes ¦
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time.kids jokes ¦
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
How would you like to ride on your own ass? blonde jokes ¦
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even if a foreigner if dressed as
a man.medical jokes ¦
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.kids jokes ¦On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.funny jokes ¦
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar.medical jokes ¦
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty.kids jokes ¦
In a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself. blonde jokes ¦
SCENE: A table at a chinese restaurant. A patron has just been seated. The
restaurant is being run by an oriental family.kids jokes ¦
Man: Hi! You must be the waiter.
Waiter: Yes, sir! How may I serve you?
Man: I'm hungry today! What's today's special?
Waiter: At this establishment, *everything* is special *everyday*!
Man: Ha, ha. Right. (looks at the menu.) Can't make up my mind.
Waiter: Would you like some soup of the day?
Man: What's the soup of the day?
Waiter: Bird drop soup. I go get bowl for you.funny jokes ¦The waiter leaves and returns with a steaming bowl of soup.
Waiter: Here you go! Soup of the day!
Man: Great. (Takes a sip.) (Spits) Yuck! This soup tastes spoiled!
Waiter: Ha, ha! Soup of the day ... did not say from *which* day!
Man: Yuck, yuck! You seem to think that was funny! You must be the waiter!
Waiter: Yes! And, you are the customer. How may I help you?
Man: May I see a menu, please?
Waiter: Sure. Menu on counter. Next to cash register.
Man: Well, aren't you going to get it?
Waiter: Why? You need it, I don't!
Man: But, aren't you the waiter?
Waiter: Yes, and you are the customer! How may I serve you?
Man: Just get me the menu!
Waiter: Okay, okay ...
The waiter leaves and returns with a menu.medical jokes ¦
Waiter: Okay, here menu. Now, what you like to order?
Man: Let's see. I think I'll have the beef chow fun.
Waiter: Ah! Beef chow fun! You want to have some fun! Ha, ha! Get it?
Have some *fun*?
Man: Man, you have a terrible sense of humor! You must be the waiter!
Waiter: Yes, and you must be the customer! How may I serve you?
Man: May I have my order of fun, please?
Waiter: We don't serve fun here. Not that kind of business.
Man: What?
Waiter: My daughter is *waitress*, not for fun ...
Man: No!! I mean the kind of fun in the kitchen ... in the wok!
Waiter: Ugh! Fun in the wok! You are *very* strange!
Man: No, no! Look, I want that order of beef chow fun!
Waiter: Ah, you want CHOW fun!
Man: That's what I said!
Waiter: So sorry. You are the customer.
Man: You are the waiter.
Waiter: How may I serve you?
Man: Just get me my order.
Waiter: No problem. political jokes ¦
The waiter walks toward the order window.
Waiter: One order beef chow fun!
Man: Oh, waiter! No MSG!
Waiter: One order beef chow fun! No MSG!
Cook: Two order beef chow fun! One no MSG!
Waiter: No! ONE order beef chow fun! No MSG!
Cook: You say TWO order beef chow fun! One no MSG!
Waiter: No! I say one order beef chow fun, then I say no MSG!
Cook: No, you say one order beef chow fun, and one order beef chow fun, no
MSG! That TWO order beef chow fun, one no MSG!
Waiter: Look ... I only want ONE order beef chow fun, okay?
Cook: Any MSG?
Waiter: No!
Cook: (mumbles) Nobody like MSG. Don't know why. Taste good. Maybe
make you a little nervous, but so does coffee ... political jokes ¦
The waiter returns to the table.
Waiter: Cook cook your order now. Anything else?
Man: Let me look at the menu. (Looks at the menu) Hey, waiter! What's
this on the menu?
Waiter: (Looks at the menu) Look like food.
Man: That's disgusting! Don't you guys clean your menus?
Waiter: Why?
Man: Well ... uh, I don't know. What is it?
Waiter: Look like chow fun.
Man: Really? Hmmm.animal jokes ¦
The man pulls the fragment of chow fun off the menu and EATS it.
Man: Mmmm! That's pretty good chow fun!
Waiter: That BEEF chow fun! You like?
Man: Yes. It was very tasty. I can't wait for my order now.
Waiter: How you know of chow fun?
Man: What do you mean?
Waiter: Most people order rice, noodles, egg roll, won ton ... but YOU order
chow fun! You chinese?
Man: Yes, as a matter of fact.
Waiter: You from China? What part of China you from?
Man: Oakland.
Waiter: Ahh! Oakland not in China!
Man: Try tellling that to my parents.
Cook: Order ready! One beef chow fun, no MSG!
Waiter: Here you are! One beef chow fun!
Man: Thanks. Wait. Why is there a spoon? Where's my chopsticks?
Waiter: Chow fun usually side dish. We serve with spoon.
Man: Well, I suppose I can use the spoon. Hey, what's this side dish?
Waiter: (Looks at the little dish) Don't know. Hey, cook!! Come out here!animal jokes
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:37 PM   #22
avacualSani
Private First Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
avacualSani is on a distinguished road
Default funny jokes

After dancing around the question of whether tattoos are okay for Christians, marriage and family therapist Dr. Linda Mintle (pictured) turned her attention to the subject of violent videogames.bancuri tari
On the CBN website, a “preteen” stated that “My mom and dad don’t want me to play violent video games,” and asked the doctor “What’s the big deal?”
Mintle, who is also Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Eastern Virginia Medical School, before responding with a laundry list of maladies she attributed to playing violent games, said that the “big deal” is that playing such games can lead to aggression and “increase delinquency.”
Among her claims:
* … you may even see the world as hostile after playing these games.
* Violent video games can teach you violent ways to think.
* Violent video games allow you to practice being violent.
* For heavier consumers of violent media (four or more hours a day), the impact is less school effort, poorer reading skills, less time playing with friends, fewer hobbies/activities, and overweight.
* The games can make you less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.
* The games can also make you more fearful of the world and see it as a scary place.
* If you practice violence in games, you can access this information for real-life situations.
In spite of that list, Dr. Mintle then offered, “... we don’t know how much those games affect you in terms of violence and shooting people.” bancuri tari
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:42 PM   #23
avacualSani
Private First Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
avacualSani is on a distinguished road
Default unusual jokes

Research and pilot programs have demonstrated the importance of ensuring separating parents hear their children’s point of view during the separation process. When children are more directly involved, the level of conflict tends to be reduced and parents can achieve more constructive outcomes. The adoption of child-inclusive practices and child consultations in the community sector, as part of dispute resolution processes for separating or divorcing parents, are successful initiatives in assisting parents to hear children’s point of view. The Family Court has also used a similar process with the adoption of the Child Responsive Program (CRP). A recent study funded by the Attorney-General’s Department by McIntosh and Long compared outcomes over one year for two groups of separated parents who attended mediation over parenting disputes. Parents were engaged in either a Child Focused Intervention or in a Child Inclusive Intervention. The majority of parents reported improved management or resolution of the initial disputes that had brought them to mediation. Across all ages, children in both interventions perceived less frequent and intense conflict between their parents and better resolution of it, with a significant lowering of their own distress in relation to parental discord. jocuri cu barbie
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:43 PM   #24
avacualSani
Private First Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
avacualSani is on a distinguished road
Default funny jokes

Respondents also highlighted issues relating to the capacity of services to support children and the need for multi-skilled practitioners to provide a flexible and responsive service for families and children. For many respondents this capacity was linked to services offering full-time employment to staff in regional areas. This also included ongoing training to develop skills specifically relating to services for children, such as child specific counselling, child consultations and child inclusive practice.
In the 2007-08 Budget $36.9 million was allocated over four years to two new programs to assist parents. The first initiative is an educational program that will assist separated parents in 28 regional areas whose inability to communicate without conflict is affecting their contact with their children. bancuri tari
The second initiative is the new Supporting Children after Separation Program. This program will assist children from separating families in a number of areas of high need across Australia to deal with issues arising from the breakdown in their parent’s relationship and to be able to participate in decisions that impact on them. The objective of this new service type is to support children within the context of their family to manage and enhance their relationships during and after family separation.jocuri logice ¦From an Air France bulletin dated Dec 1,1989. Signs & notices
written in English that were discovered around the world.jokes¦
In Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we
regret that you will be unbearable. blonde jokes ¦
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.kids jokes ¦
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national
order.funny jokes ¦
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.medical jokes ¦
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. blonde jokes ¦
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.funny jokes ¦
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.kids jokes ¦
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
people of different ######, for instance men and women, live together
in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
purpose.medical jokes ¦
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
###### in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this
purpose.funny jokes ¦
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time.kids jokes ¦
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
How would you like to ride on your own ass? blonde jokes ¦
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even if a foreigner if dressed as
a man.medical jokes ¦
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.kids jokes ¦On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.funny jokes ¦
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar.medical jokes ¦
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty.kids jokes ¦
In a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself. blonde jokes ¦
SCENE: A table at a chinese restaurant. A patron has just been seated. The
restaurant is being run by an oriental family.kids jokes ¦
Man: Hi! You must be the waiter.
Waiter: Yes, sir! How may I serve you?
Man: I'm hungry today! What's today's special?
Waiter: At this establishment, *everything* is special *everyday*!
Man: Ha, ha. Right. (looks at the menu.) Can't make up my mind.
Waiter: Would you like some soup of the day?
Man: What's the soup of the day?
Waiter: Bird drop soup. I go get bowl for you.funny jokes ¦The waiter leaves and returns with a steaming bowl of soup.
Waiter: Here you go! Soup of the day!
Man: Great. (Takes a sip.) (Spits) Yuck! This soup tastes spoiled!
Waiter: Ha, ha! Soup of the day ... did not say from *which* day!
Man: Yuck, yuck! You seem to think that was funny! You must be the waiter!
Waiter: Yes! And, you are the customer. How may I help you?
Man: May I see a menu, please?
Waiter: Sure. Menu on counter. Next to cash register.
Man: Well, aren't you going to get it?
Waiter: Why? You need it, I don't!
Man: But, aren't you the waiter?
Waiter: Yes, and you are the customer! How may I serve you?
Man: Just get me the menu!
Waiter: Okay, okay ...
The waiter leaves and returns with a menu.medical jokes ¦
Waiter: Okay, here menu. Now, what you like to order?
Man: Let's see. I think I'll have the beef chow fun.
Waiter: Ah! Beef chow fun! You want to have some fun! Ha, ha! Get it?
Have some *fun*?
Man: Man, you have a terrible sense of humor! You must be the waiter!
Waiter: Yes, and you must be the customer! How may I serve you?
Man: May I have my order of fun, please?
Waiter: We don't serve fun here. Not that kind of business.
Man: What?
Waiter: My daughter is *waitress*, not for fun ...
Man: No!! I mean the kind of fun in the kitchen ... in the wok!
Waiter: Ugh! Fun in the wok! You are *very* strange!
Man: No, no! Look, I want that order of beef chow fun!
Waiter: Ah, you want CHOW fun!
Man: That's what I said!
Waiter: So sorry. You are the customer.
Man: You are the waiter.
Waiter: How may I serve you?
Man: Just get me my order.
Waiter: No problem. political jokes ¦
The waiter walks toward the order window.
Waiter: One order beef chow fun!
Man: Oh, waiter! No MSG!
Waiter: One order beef chow fun! No MSG!
Cook: Two order beef chow fun! One no MSG!
Waiter: No! ONE order beef chow fun! No MSG!
Cook: You say TWO order beef chow fun! One no MSG!
Waiter: No! I say one order beef chow fun, then I say no MSG!
Cook: No, you say one order beef chow fun, and one order beef chow fun, no
MSG! That TWO order beef chow fun, one no MSG!
Waiter: Look ... I only want ONE order beef chow fun, okay?
Cook: Any MSG?
Waiter: No!
Cook: (mumbles) Nobody like MSG. Don't know why. Taste good. Maybe
make you a little nervous, but so does coffee ... political jokes ¦
The waiter returns to the table.
Waiter: Cook cook your order now. Anything else?
Man: Let me look at the menu. (Looks at the menu) Hey, waiter! What's
this on the menu?
Waiter: (Looks at the menu) Look like food.
Man: That's disgusting! Don't you guys clean your menus?
Waiter: Why?
Man: Well ... uh, I don't know. What is it?
Waiter: Look like chow fun.
Man: Really? Hmmm.animal jokes ¦
The man pulls the fragment of chow fun off the menu and EATS it.
Man: Mmmm! That's pretty good chow fun!
Waiter: That BEEF chow fun! You like?
Man: Yes. It was very tasty. I can't wait for my order now.
Waiter: How you know of chow fun?
Man: What do you mean?
Waiter: Most people order rice, noodles, egg roll, won ton ... but YOU order
chow fun! You chinese?
Man: Yes, as a matter of fact.
Waiter: You from China? What part of China you from?
Man: Oakland.
Waiter: Ahh! Oakland not in China!
Man: Try tellling that to my parents.
Cook: Order ready! One beef chow fun, no MSG!
Waiter: Here you are! One beef chow fun!
Man: Thanks. Wait. Why is there a spoon? Where's my chopsticks?
Waiter: Chow fun usually side dish. We serve with spoon.
Man: Well, I suppose I can use the spoon. Hey, what's this side dish?
Waiter: (Looks at the little dish) Don't know. Hey, cook!! Come out here!animal jokes
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:44 PM   #25
avacualSani
Private First Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
avacualSani is on a distinguished road
Default funny jokes

After dancing around the question of whether tattoos are okay for Christians, marriage and family therapist Dr. Linda Mintle (pictured) turned her attention to the subject of violent videogames.bancuri tari
On the CBN website, a “preteen” stated that “My mom and dad don’t want me to play violent video games,” and asked the doctor “What’s the big deal?”
Mintle, who is also Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Eastern Virginia Medical School, before responding with a laundry list of maladies she attributed to playing violent games, said that the “big deal” is that playing such games can lead to aggression and “increase delinquency.”
Among her claims:
* … you may even see the world as hostile after playing these games.
* Violent video games can teach you violent ways to think.
* Violent video games allow you to practice being violent.
* For heavier consumers of violent media (four or more hours a day), the impact is less school effort, poorer reading skills, less time playing with friends, fewer hobbies/activities, and overweight.
* The games can make you less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.
* The games can also make you more fearful of the world and see it as a scary place.
* If you practice violence in games, you can access this information for real-life situations.
In spite of that list, Dr. Mintle then offered, “... we don’t know how much those games affect you in terms of violence and shooting people.” bancuri tari
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:46 PM   #26
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Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
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Default farcical jokes

In July 2010 the Attorney-General's Department distributed a questionnaire to service providers at the Family Relationship Services Program Conference. The aim was to collect a small snapshot on the range of support and counselling services available for children whose parents have separated or who were in the process of separating. jocuri logice
Information gathered from respondents indicated the limited capacity of services to provide specialised service for children, particularly for children in the younger age brackets (ages 0 to 5). This information also revealed the availability of a wider range of services for older children up to the age of 18. This included tools such as interactive websites, help lines and the provision of counselling and group sessions to assist children with issues relating to loss, grief and coping with changes to their family. Some service providers also offered child-inclusive practises as part of a wider intervention for families.bancuri tari
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:48 PM   #27
avacualSani
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Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
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Default unusual jokes

The Game Design Document (GDD) it the blueprint from which a computer or video game is to be built. As such, every single detail necessary to build the game must be addressed in the document (or support documents). If it’s not in the document, then it probably won’t be in the game. bancuri
Below you will find an outline for a generic Game Design Document. The problem is that no generic GDD will be able to address all the various genres for which a game may be created. For example, consider the games PacMan, SimCity and Doom. All three games required detailed design documents, but if you think about it, those documents would be entirely different! As such, when using the outline below you will find sections that will be totally meaningless to your game. But also, there will be sections that your GDD requires to describe the game. Just because it’s not in my outline, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t belong. bancuri
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:50 PM   #28
avacualSani
Private First Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
avacualSani is on a distinguished road
Default funny jokes

After dancing around the question of whether tattoos are okay for Christians, marriage and family therapist Dr. Linda Mintle (pictured) turned her attention to the subject of violent videogames.bancuri tari
On the CBN website, a “preteen” stated that “My mom and dad don’t want me to play violent video games,” and asked the doctor “What’s the big deal?”
Mintle, who is also Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Eastern Virginia Medical School, before responding with a laundry list of maladies she attributed to playing violent games, said that the “big deal” is that playing such games can lead to aggression and “increase delinquency.”
Among her claims:
* … you may even see the world as hostile after playing these games.
* Violent video games can teach you violent ways to think.
* Violent video games allow you to practice being violent.
* For heavier consumers of violent media (four or more hours a day), the impact is less school effort, poorer reading skills, less time playing with friends, fewer hobbies/activities, and overweight.
* The games can make you less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.
* The games can also make you more fearful of the world and see it as a scary place.
* If you practice violence in games, you can access this information for real-life situations.
In spite of that list, Dr. Mintle then offered, “... we don’t know how much those games affect you in terms of violence and shooting people.” bancuri tari
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:52 PM   #29
avacualSani
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Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 31
avacualSani is on a distinguished road
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The Child Inclusive Intervention Group was associated with a number of effects not evident in the other treatment group with the strongest effects for fathers and for children. Significantly better outcomes at the one year post intervention point were observed including:bancuri
lower acrimony in fathers in relation to their former spouses,
• greater improvement in the parental alliance for fathers,
• children’s experience of improved emotional availability of their fathers and greater sense of closeness to him,
• greater contentment by children with care and contact arrangements, and less inclination to want to change them,
• greater satisfaction of fathers with care and contact arrangements of their children, despite initially lower levels of overnight contact than the child focused fathers,
• greater stability of care and contact patterns over the year,
• preservation or improvement of the mother-child relationship from the perspectives of both mother and child, and
• children’s overall mental health tended to improve over the year after intervention, although 21% of children remained in the clinical range, in contrast to about 15% in the general population.bancuri tari
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:54 PM   #30
avacualSani
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The GDD is a reference document. Members of the development team will constantly be using the document to find specific information for their specific needs. Consider the size such a document may grow to in order to document every piece of the game. We don’t want the GDD to cause information overload and then become a prop under somebody’s wobbly desk. As such it is important that you organize and format the document to make it easy to use. Also note that some of these sections might not appear in the GDD itself but instead would appear in supplemental documents such as an Art Bible or Test Plan. This helps make the overall document more manageable and readable. bancuri tari
One last comment, a game design document is meant to be a living document. Just as when the artist changes the design of his painting every time he takes his brush to the canvas, a computer or video game evolves as code and art are created. The GDD then is the communication tool from which all the members of the team can follow that evolution.
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